How could cancer be a spiritual experience? Well, I’ve read a number of statements from folks who have said that cancer was the best thing that happened to them. It was transformative, turned their life around. A most transformative experience with cancer is detailed in Anita Moorjani’s Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing. Ms. Moorjani is an ethic Indian, born in Indonesia and living in Hong Kong. She was diagnosed with cancer, tried alternative treatments and nearly died. She describes her Near Death Experience (NDE) and the choice she made to come back and it was truly transformative of her illness and her being in the world.

There were a number of revelations that Anita discovered in this amazing process that are meaningful to me especially as I consider the role of cancer in my life. I am still processing them but wanted to share the statements that spoke to me with the hope that I will be able to better articulate what and how this makes sense at this point in my life. Anita’s advice about what to take from her experience: “I would only suggest that you follow what feels right for you and resonates with you personally.”

When she was first diagnosed, Anita “tried hypnotherapy, meditated, prayed, chanted mantras, and took Chinese herbal remedies. Finally, I quit my freelance work and traveled to India to follow the healing system of ayurveda, I spent a total of six months in India, and during that time, I finally felt as though I was regaining my health. My yoga master put me through a grueling regimen. I had to follow a very specific diet of vegetarian food and herbal remedies, along with a routine of yoga asanas (poses) at sunrise and sunset.” She felt she was improving as there was support for all of these healing modalities in the context of her attempt to heal her body. When she returned to Hong Kong to be with family and friends, however, she reverted back to the dynamics of that environment and found herself putting the needs and feelings of everyone else before her own.

Very quickly her health began failing and she soon reached a crisis where organ systems were failing and family was gathering to respond to her critical need. As it appeared that she was dying, her being in the world shifted and she began to experience what was unfolding in a very different way:

“I could feel my attachment recede as I began to know that everything was perfect and going according to plan. As my emotions were being drawn away from my surroundings, I started to notice how I was continuing to expand to fill every space, until there was no separation between me and everything else. I encompassed—no, became—everything and everyone.

“I felt a sense of freedom and liberation that I’d never experienced in my physical life before. I can only describe this as the combination of a sense of joy mixed with a generous sprinkling of jubilation and happiness. It stemmed from being released from my sick and dying body, a feeling of jubilant emancipation from all the pain that my illness had caused me.

“It seems as though our five senses limit us to focus only on one point in time at any given moment, and we string these together to create an illusion of linear reality. Our physicality also limits our perception of the space around us, confining us to only what our eyes and ears can see and hear or to what we can touch, smell, or taste. However, without the limitations of my body, I took in all points of time and space as they pertained to me, all at once.

“And then I was overwhelmed by the realization that God isn’t a being, but a state of being…and I was now that state of being!

“I understood that I owed it to myself, to everyone I met, and to life itself to always be an expression of my own unique essence.

“My many fears and my great power had manifested as this disease. It was then that I understood that my body is only a reflection of my internal state. If my inner self were aware of its greatness and connection with All-that-is, my body would soon reflect that and heal rapidly.

“To access this state of allowing, the only thing I had to do was be myself! I realized that all those years, all I ever had to do was be myself, without judgment or feeling that I was flawed. At the same time, I understood that at the core, our essence is made of pure love. We are pure love—every single one of us. How can we not be, if we come from the Whole and return to it? I knew that realizing this meant never being afraid of who we are. Therefore, being love and being our true self is one and the same thing!”

More to follow.